“I have lost, sold, stolen and committed fraud in the past to feed this habit, and once again have come close to losing everything I own. I have hurt my family and friends. I have low self esteem, I can’t afford a haircut, am overweight, look like a dag and live day in and out in the few t-shirts and pants I have, and I own one pair of shoes, due to my gambling. I am behind in rent and am facing eviction, owe $25,000 to my family and have many unpaid bills.
I lost $2,000 in my last binge 3 days ago, which leaves no food money or money for work, smokes, etc.. I am totally fed up to the back teeth with this problem, and am ready to quit. I have been to see a counsellor over the last month or so, and I think I am finally ready to get this monkey off my back once and for all. Gambling is an insidious addiction, that became my focus in life, but it has now become my enemy and I despise it and myself, and want my life back. I have a tough few years ahead of me paying back what I owe, but have come to realise that I’m not going to win this money to pay off bills and family, only hard work and quitting gambling is going to do it. I have done many shameful things to feed this addiction, and am saddened by the fact that now at 42 years of age I have started to come to my senses.
I wish I had given up years ago, and given my family the lifestyle that they deserve. It’s a hard battle but I feel this time I have finally hit rock bottom, and the only way to deal with this is to pick myself up, dust myself off and just get on with it. I am lucky! I have a supportive family, great job and my health. Good luck to anyone who is dealing with this addiction, I wish you well and encourage you to get help A.S.A.P. Don’t waste years hoping for the big win! It ain’t gonna happen.
Take it from me. I am not one who feels comfortable attending G.A as I have in the past, however I know that I can’t and won’t be able to do it alone, so I will continue seeing my counsellor from life line, and having been gambling free for the last 9 days, feel that this time I have the chance to beat this problem.
I feel so tired of my life as a gambler, and counselling has helped, along with this feeling deep inside of me, that I have had enough of the poverty, lies, cheating and low self esteem, that goes hand in hand with this disease.”