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January 7, 2017
Hi I'm a 40yr Mum of 2. I have had a gambling addiction for 5yrs now and I feel it's taking over my life. I just recently got married to the man of my dreams and marrying him was one of the most happiest days of my life, besides been totally in love with my husband my other love are the poker machines. We both work full time and get a weekly wage, My husband allows me to take care of our finances and ensure all bills are paid on a weekly basis, i even have his key card and credit cards in my wallet. My husband does not expect money weekly and leaves all our well earnt wages in my hands. BAD IDEA. Every week i will do our grocery shopping and pay our bills, well sometimes. I always ensure our children have food on the table and clothes on their back but in saying that my husband has no idea that i have been spending 70percent of our earnings down the club playing the machines. I always feel im going to win something or ill say to myself just $50 and thats it, that $50 always turns into hundreds and sometimes thoudands. This is becoming a weekly vital for me and knowing that i have overdue rent to pay I have now put my family in a bad situation, We have been sent an eviction notice from the landlord, My stomach felt so sick when i received this in the mail the other day i started to panic and become totally insane i felt considered suicide because i didn't want to feel like this anymore, i want this to go away and not have to deal with it and suicide seems the easy way out. I have put us in dept and have used our kids schooling and collage money for my addiction. We have nothing, ive started selling stuff that my husband wouldn't notice missing just to get money, ive lied and are still lieing to him, ive stolen money and lie to friends to get money. I just want my life to end, my family would be better off without me i feel. I'm angry, im frustrated, im depressed and most of all im lost. I've allowed this addiction to control me and i need help fast. I want to stop but it's hard. Please help 🙁
February 13, 2014
I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time at the moment - it sounds like things have gotten really bad for you and you're really needing some help. So firstly, well done for reaching out - I'm very glad that you have found our website.
From reading your post I am thinking a couple of things will be helpful for you right now. Firstly, as you mentioned feeling at risk of harm, I would like you to consider contacting Lifeline on 13 13 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, or accessing webchat for Beyond Blue on their website. It is very important that if you are having any thoughts of suicide or self harm that you can get some support, as I can hear that things are really hard for you at the moment.
In terms of getting some support for gambling, you to call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 for immediate support. Talking to a trained counsellor can help to manage what is happening for you and they can work with you to manage the distress you're feeling right now. I can hear that you're been keeping this to yourself for so long now that it is a huge amount to deal with.
Speaking to a counsellor on this line can also get you linked in with some face to face support with Gamblers Help service. This is a free service that has ongoing counselling and also financial counsellors who can give invaluable financial advice and support with debts and repayments. It sounds like getting your finances sorted out would relieve a lot of pressure and would make things feel more manageable!
Speaking with a counsellor could also help you to get some support around talking to your husband about this and starting to change the gambling behavior. It definitely sounds as if you are at a point where you really want to change, and the good news is that there is good help available.
If you are not feeling quite ready to make a phone call, there are some good resources on our website, so please have a look at the 'take action' section of the page. Accessing http://www.gamblinghelponline.org will also give information and you can access web based counselling.
I hope that this has helped, please feel free to jump back on the forum to let us know how you are going and if you would like some further support. It does sound like contacting the Gambling Helpline is the next step and perhaps the first step in getting some help, and getting back on track with the things that matter to you.
take care and all the best,
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