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November 30, 2014
I am only new to this site and after 3 years of continuing to feed money into the pokies, it is only now that I have convinced myself that I have a serious problem and need help.
Three years ago, I met the most amazing man, any girl would ever dream of having in her life. At the time, I had nothing to show for my life, no money, no house and a child that resided with her father.
My now fiance, who I was friends with before dating, had a stable job and plenty of savings in his account.
After only a few months after dating, things moved quite quickly. I moved in with him, and he gave me the luxury of sharing what was his. That was up until one day I decided to start playing the pokies on a regular basis, digging into his savings, which be spent 12 years building.
Once the money was all gone from his savings, I had to urge to continue feeding my addiction. I needed to find another way to have access to money, so I could do just that.
I no sooner became an authorised user on my partners accounts. Shortly after this occurred, I personally paid a visit to the bank and requested documentation to set up Internet banking. This I did behind my partners back of course. He was in front on the mortgage by at least $40000. It didn't take me long to start transferring funds from the mortgage to our everyday savings account. It started out with a couple of hundred here and there, but the more I lost, the more I had it in my head, that I had to win the money back before he found out I was stealing his money. Of course I had BIG wins, on the very rare occasion, which only wanted me going back for more.
I have been an addict for three long years and have confessed many times to my partner. He has been so very understanding and extremely supportive of my addiction and has done everything in his power to try and help me.
Within the last 3 years I have put well over $200,000 in the pokies and all of it has been the money my partner worked so hard for. All he has ever wanted to do is support the girls and I and give us a great life. All of his hard work, straight down the drain, because of this horrible addiction of mine.
I am well aware that I am held accountable for my actions, and there is no excuse for my behavior, but when something like this has such a strong hold on somebody's life, it is possibly one of the toughest habits to break.
I have ignored the fact that I need help, but I can no longer do this to the people I love and to myself - these evil things have taken control of my life and my happiness. It has ruined my partner and shattered any trust that he still may have for me. We have had countless arguments and have said nasty, hateful things to each other. We have nill savings and are now facing being being with our bills.
I love my partner and our two amazing girls and will do everything I can to beat this addiction so that I can learn to be happy again and lead a normal life again.
I find success stories of former gambling addicts very inspiring, so if anyone can relate to my situation, I'd appreciate you sharing. I just want to know that I'm not the only one suffering with this controlling disease.
June 22, 2014
I am too a female that was affected by pokies problem. I was a compulsive pokie machine gambler. Outside the "VIP lounge" I am thrifty and think twice before buying anything expensive and yet inside that "zone", everything else doesn't matter and I couldn't stop chasing losses.
I also happened to be a phD scholar and have a huge interest in research. In an attempt to understand what happen inside me, I read journal papers and books to see if i can cure myself of gambling problems.
I have to say, I am very successful now that I have quit pokies machine gambling problem after 10 years addicted to pokies machines.
I will restructure my blog soon so that I can write down the methods towards a gambling free life, or at least achieve controlled gambling life.
I did all these by understanding what happens to the brain when we started gambling, why we have cravings, why the need to gamble, what happens to the brain after prolong gambling, why some people are more susceptible to gambling and if rats (from a study) can be addicted to gambling so can you (because the way the gaming machines is being designed and also your brain's responses to it)
Some people like me, have a brain that is susceptible to any game of chance, such as lotteries, poker cards, especially pokies machine and even other events like lucky draw, because we choose immediate reward over long term consequences, if anyone can understand this, it is of tremendous help to recovery from gambling addiction. Especially when there are things we didn't want to do or face (seemed like a long term reward), we decided to escape and choose to gamble instead (because it is immediate reward and it felt good).
For example, depressive events or anxieties can trigger someone to go gambling because the brain wanted to be happy again, and it remembered the last time she gamble, she was happy, so now that she isn't happy and needs to be happy or normal again, the brain tells her to go gamble, because it is the closest immediate reward the brain can get to being happy or normal (no highs or low, her baseline mood).
You are welcome to read my blog on http://silvialining.blogspot.com.au/
You are also welcome to contact me, my email address is on my blog.
Hope you find your way out soon
December 11, 2014
December 12, 2014
How do you do it..I mean start to not follow through on stupid urges as soon as there is money available. Ive had a problem with pokies for 15 years, as soon as I have access to any money, mine ir otherwise...I get excited and my brain tells me today is the day...today im going to get the big win...I just know it...I cant get there quick enough..I think to myself ...man ive spent so much on these things it must be my time to win it back..ill take in only a certain amount but always get more money...however possible to keep playing to get what ive already lost back...ive get payday loans, borrow from family and lie to my partner about needing money for this or that...he gave me 1000 to get my csr fixed and ive blown the lot tonite..I only ever read about how to get help after ive lost big time..never before I go...cause I scheme n plan how to cover it in my head...ill just ask dad for the money if I lose or ill wont pay that loan repayment etc etc...god I hate myself..its all I want to do cause when im there playing i get into this kind of trance n cant stop...aaaarrrggghhhh
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