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May 12, 2016
Hi, I am new to this site and new to this addiction. I am the wife of a problem gambler and I'm lost as to how to help him, I'm afraid there is no helping him. He loves online gaming (it's so dangerous), I don't know that anyone will believe the last 48 hours of our lives (I still don't). My husband had stopped gambling when we reconnected 5 years ago, 5 years on and a 18 month old later. He has been gambling since Dec 2014 and has stopped for maybe a couple of months but hasn't had a "day off" since December 2015. The lying and endless disappearing is taking its toll on our relationship, which he claims not to understand as he sums "gambling" all into one, so if he lies it's only about gambling, if his sneaky he says it's only regarding gambling that's is now getting a little hard to believe. He finally had a win and a good one (he is quite lucky) and it's not enough, which I can't comprehend. It's no secret that I don't understand gambling, I understand addiction on some level as I am a smoker, I now see they are different in so many ways. The last 48 hours he has been playing straight, dizzing off to sleep every now and again. He won a big win and don't get me wrong he cashed out for the first time! He has cashed out 40k having said that it should of been 200k in the last 48 hours I have seen all his hopes and dreams be shattered by this addiction and he isn't himself. Usually there is some remorse or guilt but this time is different. I have the 40k where he can't get to it (having said that he has impersnated me previously to the bank to get funds. Know he will fight me and fight me to get the money cause he is chasing his tail. I have done wanted he wanted done with the money and he still telling me "that I can't be trusted, that I always stuff around with money, and this is why he gambles, I'm the reason it gets worse". I don't know how to help him to stop I know I can't physically stop him, God knows I've tried. I just want him to see sense before he looses everything. He has lost everything before and I don't want that for him I love him and it's a horrible thing to watch and be so helpless. Any advice would be great.
February 13, 2014
Thanks for your post, and I'm sorry that things have been so rough for you. It sounds like your husband is right in the middle of the gambling problem and you are trying so hard to help him out of it. I imagine that it must have really taken its toll on you as well.
It sounds like his gambling is reaching new heights, and hence you have contacted us. I wonder if you've considered calling the Helpline on 1800 858 858? A counsellor can help to work with you through your concerns about your husband and give you some ideas for how to move him towards change....as well as provide you with much needed support! It would be great if other users of the forum can add any of their advice.....we do have some people on the forum who are partners or family members of people who are gambling.
Other than that, well done for reaching out. This is a really difficult thing to have to go through and it is so important that you get some support and advice from professionals and peers. Please do give us a call so that we can guide you a bit further in what you can do, both for yourself and your husband.
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